What permits madness? Is it just another genetics is destiny? Not talking about schitzo, more along the lines of neuroses like the pressure of perfection, OCD, penis dementia, etc. I believe there is no hitch in your mind's giddyup that can't be narcotized. No, I don't get paid by BigPharma. The fascination is prolonged because the worst of my voices in my head have been stilled for almost three decades. But you still drink? Are you challenging self-actualization with sobriety? Ever hear the Churchill "live to be 100 but it will seem like 200" quote? The madness that comes included with hijinx and shenanigans is a form of mental exercise like praying and meditation except for the pelvic sensations. As Paul said "garbled and then garbled leading to garbled". The purpose of life is life.

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today,
Tomorrow will be dying.