Land ho! It was an expression that always intrigued Zeke, not because he had any desire to be a sailor on a barque or a ketch sailing by the stars and the guy in the crow's nest. No, it probably tied directly to his desire for discovery, seeing the shore of the problem, knowing he'd be off the sea of uncertainty in due time and on solid ground again. My guess is that's why he agreed to something uncharacteristic of him - to sit in a seance led by some Mildred lady with dangling earings and an outlandish dress. The typical crap accompanied the start - candles, incense, harp music and a group of six cuckoo birds that Zeke ordinarily would avoid. The eyes were closed on instruction and hands were held. Zeke immediately pictured the broad with the ponytail next to him. First thought - nondescript breasts. Why do I always go there? Am I an objectivist like the feminists decry? Shouldn't I get past her form and try to align with her desire to find out whatever this stupid seance is trying to uncover? OK, concentrate, listen to the psychic. Some psychic - bet she takes the proceeds and gambles it in Atlantic City or buys a makeover (what a puss!). But concentrate - what's with the guy with the lump on his cheek? Is he hoping to find out it's not an embryo that will achieve life status via birth through his nostrils? Stop this shit right now! - go with her words, Oooga-booga, give us a sign. Here's your sign - count on me never doing this again. Why are there so many stupid people and why am I one of them? Suddenly, I see my Uncle Phil who died when I was in Little League and he's air-humping the back of the psychic's neck. I grin. Oooga-booga - give us a sign. The Uncle Phil goes over to the fat guy and puffs up his cheeks and walks around like a guy with a load in his pants. I start laughing. The psychic demands silence and I'm already hoping Uncle Phil gives her a Cleveland Steamer. The lady with the parrot dress stands up and says "Harold! I see you - can you see me?" No answer. She repeats "Harold! why don't you answer me?" I'm already thinking about doing the makeout bit with my arms wrapped around me and pretending to be kissing someone but before I could begin, the psychic says "the spirits say we should come back another time" and we all open our eyes, look at each other and grab our coats so we can head for outdoors. Not saying I wouldn't do this again but sure as I'm Zeke Commiskey, you can bet the house it would be in someone else's living room. Oooga-booga.