Lila was a friend of mine
She resembles Frankenstein
When she does the Irish jig
She resembles Porky Pig

Friday night's date with Lila was going masterfully. Oliver's choice of Na zdrowie, a Polish restaurant was perfect. Lila devoured the perogies and gumki while drinking Belvedere from a 10 oz. glass leading towards a change of plans for the rest of the evening. "Let's skip the movie and go back to my place" Lila suggested. "I'm down with that, babe" Oliver responded holding in his giggle. They pulled in the driveway and before he could open the car door, she leaned toward him and kissed him like those Russian spies do to diplomats in foreign intrigue movies. Oliver knew to skip the preliminaries and take her right to the the bedroom. He purposely dawdled in stripping down carefully folding each article of clothing while she got naked and jumped under the covers. He got down to just his briefs, his new Oscar de la Renta mid-rise which he bought that afternoon to upgrade from the whities and then methodically pulled them down to give her the best glimpse of his pruned area. Lila laughed out loud then apologised. "I'm sorry Ollie, it's just that the eleven you shaved your dick hair into is a hoot". Oliver wanted to tell her in no uncertain terms what a turnoff it is to be laughed at but instead resisted showing his distain for her and proceeded with engaging in the nasty. He decided during the foreplay to combine moves described by Dalton Trumbo and Chester Gould's parody of B.O. Plenty, sort of a Plenty/Trumbo Combo. Lila screeched with delight like an aria through the bathroom window and when they recovered from the cum-a-thon, Oliver dressed and let himself out while she slept off her combo-catharsis. Oliver never called her again nor answered any of her messages. Laugh but beware, my sweet.