In a faraway place, just west of Zzyzx a guy wearing loafers with pennies in them was walking towards Luke's Diner where he usually drank coffee and used the facilities. The passing cars barely noticed that his trousers had only one pant leg in them. But if anyone was interested enough to ask, he would had told them about the girl with the tangerine lips. Her name was Vivian and she wore square eyeglasses that intellectualized her look despite those orange lips. She walked right up to him and asked "Can I use your phone? My friend was supposed to meet me and I'm worried. It's a local call and I'll make it short." How could I refuse? Those lips hardly concealed her perfect teeth so I said "Sure". Vivian quickly fingered the numbers and winced saying "no answer" . She then put on a show using fingers and thumbs to key in a text message faster than you or I could say the words. When she handed me the phone saying,"thanks" I asked her if everything was OK and she said "not really". Her friend is a notorious non-navigator which means she may never find this location meaning Vivian was stuck here unless there's a plan B. I would offer to take her to a known place but since I don't drive, that's out. Or I could lend her some money to take a bus or train but I only had six bucks to my name. Then it hit me - "does she ever drive on the freeway, the 15?" I asked. "Sure, why" so here's what played out: Vivian re-text her friend, then we ripped the inseam of my right pant leg and used our teeth to shred a tear so we could rip it off then used her Sharpie to write "Vivian Here" on it. Then we went to the overpass and held it over the railing until her friend honked loudly as she passed under, took the off ramp and in a minute or two picked up Vivian who turned and kissed me saying "you're a doll !" So you'd think the story ends here. But while sitting in Luke's drinking my coffee, a guy who was intrigued by my missing pant leg came over and got to talking. Turns out he's directing an indie film that he wrote and wondered if I could take a small role that he just re-wrote in his mind about a guy with one pant leg. That movie ended up winning the Palme d'Or at Cannes and now I walk to Luke's from my new beachfront villa, thanks to Vivian with the tangerine lips. Would I make this up? Could I?