The Barney's on Madison Ave., the purple Barney, then there's Barney Panofsky. Some likenesses - the love at first glance, the duration of the dereliction. But we departed at the betrayal of his true love. Cannot happen. Not even a crack of an opening to let the temptress in. And not a chance I'll buy that different strokes explanation for straying from true love. I will stipulate to boyness in a 20s man ergo, old guy's protect what boys risk. But baby, when you make it happen, emphasis on hoops, there's nothing that could pry it from iron clenched fingers. So if I were Mordecai, I'd have Barney's loyalty to his buds diverted more to his true love and taunting the barfly with wit that was less drenched in hootch, daring the radio guy to take his shot at Miriam and bring back the afro pal instead of vilifying Boogie. But so what? You could re-write Job to give him spa treatments, what's that prove? Thinking about the best movie we've seen in a while forces relativity and unbridled breaks in reality that can't be explained encouraging these words here about why not being Barney is a relief. It's understandable to cringe at seeing yourself in character's excesses so why not play around with fixing yourself through a re-write? Minnie Driver does NY Jewess with hilarity. And I'd have gone with So Long Marianne.

Today's Story:
Basically, everything on Tommy's iPod was hacked (meaning he gathered the content via his virtuosity). The songs were all bypassed around iTunes and the ebooks were wi-fied as were all the pictures. But what Tommy failed to notice was that his copy of 867-5309 Jenny contained a trojan that synched with his laptop making robocalls to every area code in the world with a recorded message asking for "Jenny?" The disclosure of this came out in his most recent session with Dr. Judy, known infamously as "the shrink who put the 'psycho in psychologist") who casually asked him who the face on his t-shirt was. When he answered "Jenny Agutter" she laughed and asked if he had ever seen "An American Werewolf in London"? He replied "no, but I have the podcast of it on my iPod here." Dr. listens, goes to the song instead of the podcast, picks up on the synch tone and Tommy is quick to disable the trojan , allowing the session to focus the remaining minutes on his eating disorder. This re-cap is brought to you courtesy of Therapists without Hoarders as a service of the BBC.