As I found a seat about halfway up from the panel on stage, I quietly slipped into my seat checking out the esteemed group under the stage lights. On the left was Dennis Lopresti, a guy who tries to come off as sincere but is so completely narcissistic that everything he mutters is suspect. Next to him is Catherine Keeler-Humbert (she dropped the "o" to de-Latinize her married name) who would bang a snowman if she thought she could get a nickel for the carrot in his nose. Then the village idiot - Alan Garrotson. He couldn't pass a home pregnancy test if his anus had digital knuckles. So the lights dim and they start the proceedings with a PowerPoint presentation call "Optimize without Compromise". I withstood all urges to sit silently until the graphic appeared that said "Pack up your troubles in your old jit bag and Smile". I stood up raised my hand and said "excuse me, but is there anyone up there on stage that ever smoked a Chesterfield?" Alan answered with "who are you?" and I said "Elke Sommers grandson, who are you?" The few remaining people in the audience turned towards me and I started singing "keep the ball rolling, keep the ball rolling, girl the name of the game is love". Catherine asked for point of order and I grabbed myself and said "Here's your point". The bailiff, or the rent-a-dildo, approached me as I departed making armpit farts with my right hand in deference to Holly Golightly. All the above is true except for the raising the toilet seat part.