Lactatia was a happy yet lugubrious child with a penchant for sky writers. Her mother Ovaria was a Costa Rican hoarder and her father Ralph was a Hutu from Zaire. They met during the Mobutu era when Ovaria was a correspondent with La Nacion. Lactatia had deepset dark eyes reflective of her Mayan ancestors on her Mom's side and all her calendars were blank after December 21, 2012. Lactatia nonetheless thrived in American culture and was a teacher's pet until she was placed in Achmed's class. There was nothing untowards about Achmed's teaching methods but one day he assigned his class to write about the one thing in life that they longed for. Lactatia wrote in the subject line for Achmed's approval the she wanted a frison biche, her very favorite dog. But Achmed thought he recalled frison biche as French for fuck you, bitch, so he had her expelled. Luckily, Ovaria knew the superintendent of schools who proposed to his wife via sky written Marry Me Margaret when they were grad students at Ball State and the expulsion was overturned. Tomorrow Lactatia will be saying grace at the Feast of the Mayan Virgins because one has diarrhea and the other never returned her RSVP. Happy Thanksgiving to all.