Alonzo, the boy mesmerizer, departed from his lactation class to begin another morning searching out brass monopods. His fixation of them strained the question "what does he plan to put on top of them?" Meanwhile, the fellows at the gift wrapping table were all jazzed about Skeeter Davis signing her head shot then lip glossing her signoff. Now Tuesdays are designated as shoestring tie day and Clarisse borrowed her Dad's bolo with the turquoise and silver buckle to wear outside her red kerchief tie top. Despite all this calamity, a single lady bug walked along the bench where Donny held the Folger's can hoping anyone would notice. The loud annoying sound was an '87 Olds with a blown muffler that all but drowned out the choral group practicing in the parking lot. The time had finally come for Del's voice to resonate over the P.A. system: "I'd like to welcome all you today to our hastily arranged hommmage to last night's karaoke winner, Eddie Kelmer whose a cappella version of "I'm too sexy for my shirt" left us all without doubt that history was just made".

Dave closed the page and stretched his legs out on the patio. Yesterday's storm left the rug soggy but the cool deck looked spanking clean. If the rest of July is anything like these first two weeks, then this will go down as a crazy summer. There's an admission trying to get out but the uncertainty encourages sticking with the silly for another bit. The character building moments never cease so letting it rest may be the wisest.

a man walks into a bar with a crocodile he sets the crocodile up on the bar and says to everyone "hey. i'm going to open this crocodile's mouth and stick my dick in there for one minute. then i'm going to pull it out and you'll all see it's intact and then every single one of you sons of bitches is going to buy me a drink" every one agrees that they want to see this and readily agree to buy the man a drink if he performs this act the man opens the crocodile's mouth, whips out his dick and sticks it in the croc's mouth. then he closes the crocodile's mouth. after one minute, he breaks a beer bottle over the crocodile's head and the crocodile's mouth slowly opens and the man pulls out his dick which is still in pristine condition. everyone has a look and cheers and is buying the man many rounds of drinks. after the man has more than a few, he shouts to everyone in the bar "OK i'm going to challenge any of you to step up and be brave enough to repeat this" the crowd gets real quiet, and in the back of the crowd, a woman says "i'll do it if you promise not to break the bottle over my head"