lvl

NEW YEAR

Randolph P. Golden was your normal Naked City beefeater until one day he was running late for a meeting with his astrologer and he decided to take a taxi instead of the subway. On the way to the coffee shop the taxi driver left a big fart and after apologizing, handed Randolph a spray deodorizer which he immediately used and it just so happens that it wasn't deodorizer but some form of chloroform. When Randolph wok up he was on the set of the Truman Show but instead of actors walking around, they were fellow victims of the fart scam. Randolph was in disbelief that so many people were done in by this scam and asked one guy "why don't you just float out to the end of the lake?" and the guy answered "because you'll drop off into space". Uh-oh, thought Randolph, too much chloroform. Then suddenly he was back in the taxi and before he could jump out he was back at the Truman set sitting in a Starbucks when Charlie's ex-girlfriend Mia walked in and asked Randolph if he'd seen Charlie. Again in a blur Randolph was back in the taxi and this time he yelled "Stop" but again he was back on the set and this time he was sitting next to a jukebox which the Fonz nudged with his elbow and Randolph stood up and said "if we all blink our eyes three times on the count of three we may just wake up from this nightmare" On the count of 3 he blinked and this time he was back in New York at the meeting with the astrologer who flipped the Tarot and advised him to never spray after someone farts. When Randolph got home later that evening, he and his wife talked about the day's events and she said it all happened because he acts like a communist with his radical opinions on things. Then they got into an argument about the weather with the wife insisting it was not raining outside but rather it was sleeting. Randolph disagreed vehemently and the wife asked "why do you think you're so right?" And he answered, "because Randolph the Red knows rain, dear".